“What actually helps in therapy?”
“Can I share my experiences with my therapist?”
These are natural questions — whether we are considering therapy for the first time or have just begun.
Studies have shown that apart from specific therapy techniques, clients’ expectations and motivation, one of most important factors that makes a difference is the therapeutic relationship between therapist and client.
That relationship matters more than people often expect, where they feel heard and understood. It creates a space where change may begin, sometimes in small, steady ways.
A perspective that has stayed with me during my training is this: see beyond the person’s difficulties and understand who this person is. With that in mind, I listened, stayed engaged and build a connection with client at his/her pace. From there, change unfolds gradually. We found these small steps forward encouraging.
I would share with my clients that the first session is an opportunity for them to get a feel of the experience – “Do I feel heard? Do I feel understood? Do I feel supported?”
At its heart, therapy is about having a safe, supportive place where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly and safely.
Carl Rogers “…. a deep sense of empathy within a relationship can be one of the most powerful forces for change and growth.”
Tracey Ngai, 8 May 2026
Cuijpers, P., Reijnders, M., & Huibers, M. J. H. (2019). The Role of Common Factors in Psychotherapy Outcomes. Annual review of clinical psychology, 15, 207–231. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050718-095424
Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2018). Counseling and psychotherapy theories in context and practice (3rd ed.). John Wiley & Sons.
Wampold B. E. (2015). How important are the common factors in psychotherapy? An update. World psychiatry : official journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), 14(3), 270–277. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20238